She belongs in the room

The room wasn't built with you in mind, walk in anyway. In this episode, I share the story of holding my own in a male dominated space early in my career and what it taught me about belonging, voice and the difference between being loud and being rooted.

This one is for the women already in the room who still sometimes question if they belong and for the women who haven't stepped in yet but are more ready than they realise.

You belong in the room. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:18

I want to talk to the women today. All of you. The ones were already in the room. The ones standing outside it. And the ones we didn't even know there was a room to walk into. That's something I've noticed. There are spaces, professional spaces, career spaces, and life spaces where women are still in the minority. Where the default voice is male, and the default assumption is that certain conversations, certain tables, and certain rooms belong to a certain kind of people. And a lot of women, talented, capable, more than qualified women, still shrink in those spaces. They still edit themselves down. They still wait to be invited to speak rather than just speaking. They carry a quiet uncertainty that maybe they don't fully belong there, that their voice is somehow less valid, and they need to earn the rights to take up space in a way that the men around them simply don't. I understand that. Not because I was the loudest or because I forced my way in, but because I knew what I was doing and I showed up like I knew it. And those experiences, that room and others like it, built something in me that I still carry today. A quiet knowing that I have a place, that I have a voice, and that I belong here, wherever here is. Came from opportunities of leadership that presented themselves and that I stepped into. And in showing up, I discovered the room didn't collapse when I walked in. I discovered that I could contribute, I could lead, and that I could see that tables that weren't built with me in mind and still have something worth saying. Here's what I want you to understand. That knowing or realization doesn't just live in boardrooms or career spaces. It lives in every room you occupy. In your home, in the decisions made around your family, your children, your future, in the marketplace, in how you negotiate, how you position yourself, how you show up in business. Yeship, in how you carry yourself when you walk into any space and decide without announcement or permission that you belong here too. Knowing your worth is not a work thing, it's a who you are thing. A woman who knows who she is carries that into every room, every conversation, every decision, every space that was built with or without her in mind, that she walked into, anyway. That's what I mean when I talk about belonging in the room. It's not about being seen, it's not about being the loudest. The women I respect most are the ones who have truly found their footing. They're not the loudest ones in the room. They just do their thing, they know their worth, they speak when they have and say without apology. And there's a stillness to them that commands more respect than volume ever called. Bear in mind that the room will not always make space for you, the table was not always built with you in mind, and the conversation will not always naturally turn in your direction. But you can't keep waiting for an invitation that may never come. Not loudly, not aggressively, just pull up a chair, sit down, contribute because you have something worth contributing, and you don't need anyone's permission to know that. Keep going, keep showing up, keep being the example that other women are watching, even when you don't know they're watching, because they are. Shaped by everything you've lived, by every room you've navigated, by every challenge you've overcome. And every time you knew the answer but didn't raise your hand, that experience is yours and it qualifies you. The room needs your voice, not a version of it that's been edited down to make other people comfortable. It needs the full version, unfiltered, undiminished, unapologetic. And if you're a man listening to this, this is for you too. Look at the women in your life, your colleagues, your sisters, your daughters, your partners, your friends. Do they know you see them? Do they know you believe in what they carry? Because your encouragement matters more than you realize. Give them room. Speak up for them when they're not in the room, empower them where you can. Because a man who lifts women doesn't lose anything, he gains everything. That's the music for today. Carry what serves you and leave the rest. Until next time, keep thinking, keep growing, keep showing up well.